The Affective Coma:In Situ

Upon self examination sometimes you find a rift.

Some kind of rip , like a tear,
An inner crack that only you can see
And no one else knows is there.

You know how your were once and also what you have become.

You think its fading.Maybe its dying.
There may still be time left
But you don't know if it's worth
The trouble or trying.

This can be your passion or it can be your faith.
Maybe it's your faith in people or maybe its your faith in love.
Maybe it's your faith in being loved and being able to love back.

Is this just a part of maturity ?
Or is it being jaded?
This is what you wanted all along though
And somehow you created it.

It could be a part of your cycle.
Where it is always calmest before the storm.
The waxing and waning of your emotional state.
But it's so comforting though
And it feels like clarity and self control.

Expect nothing from anyone,
It's just a waste of time.
Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
Detach yourself and you'll be fine.

That's not how it used to be.
So affected , at one point in time,by everything.
Always hurting and always disappointed ,
But so much more willing to concede.
So full of innocence and naivete.

Do you accept or try to fix this?
Do you rejoice or do you cry ?
Do you care about being careless?
Can you be cold but still alive?

Keep your heart of hearts secret.
Great expectations are hopeless creations.
Ignore the ideal for it is not real.
Forget about luck;stop giving a fuck.

Perhaps this is just reality sinking in and festering with dissatisfaction,then souring with disregard.

This is when her roses wilted and then they tarnished.
But she took a picture and the essence was captured

And hidden away behind a wall of thorns.